I don't know what this is, but whatever, this looks like a Asian, crappier Eurovision. Racism alert. Or cultural cringe, I guess, since I'm Asian too. Wikipedia link!
Intro sequence: Hooray for Perfume! Why the heck did Australia send Havana Brown? Embarrassing. But not as embarrassing as Asians and their tacky graphic design.
Singapore - Taufik Batisah
Oh no, a slow, quiet, piano ballad. Lord, that falsetto. Cringeworthy key change. I predict that there will be a lot of terrible key changes coming up. On the plus side, he sang quite well.
Australia - Havana Brown
Oh, she's actually DJing (or pretending to?). And shouting and dancing. Barely any actual singing, and it's terrible. Well, at least it's more to look at than the last one. Some of the audience look a bit confused, but the men look very happy. They're letting her talk because she's white, right?
Sri Lanka - Arjuna & Shanika
Another slow song. Not sure if pitchy or intentional microtonalness. Woman has a pretty voice. What is that guy doing, fiddling in the background? Better than Singapore, but still pretty dull.
Malaysia - Hafiz
Wow, this guy doesn't look like an Asian popstar. Oh for God's sake, another piano ballad. Oh, it's picking up a little with strings and percussion. Audience looks bored.
Vietnam - Le Viet Anh
I'm sorry, but that's a funny name. Fuck, another ballad. His voice sounds weird. Maybe it's the language and its glottal stops. Or his low range just kinda sucks. Say, by what standard am I supposed to be judging these? If it's entertainment value, Aus is actually winning.
Japan - Perfume
Don't fail me now, Japan.Yes, not a ballad! Choreography! Singing! Cutesy, but at least not soporific. Audience seems to have woken up and become a bit more enthusiastic. Host: "They look like cartoon characters."
Hong Kong - Alfred Hui
Aaaand we're back to piano ballad. I feel like every Asian man sings higher than I do. Easy on the dramatic hand gestures, dude.
MIJI
Cute girls playing traditional instruments is cool, I guess. Anything but another piano ballad. Now they're playing Fly Me To The Moon. One girl is blowing some cool black thing that looks like it would make a great trophy.
Indonesia - Maria Calista
PIANO--oh wait, there's a violin and rock band. Singer's outfit is awesome. Now it's a piano ballad again. You know, in the Western world, ballady-intros usually become dance songs, not the other way around. Singing is better than the others. Oh, it's picking up into some kind of Broadway thing.
China - Cao Fujia
Low expectations. Yep, piano ballad, with a few electronic adornments.
Afghanistan - Hameed Sakhizada
Their promo video is depressing. Luckily, the song is not! The thing that he is playing looks cool as, like a super-minimalist guitar or a spoon with strings.
South Korea - TVXQ
According to Wikipedia, they originally were going to bring SNSD. :( Anyway, I remember these guys from when I used to watch One Piece; they did my least favourite opening song. As for this song, it's not a piano ballad (!) and there's dubstep, which is fashionable.
Oh dear, now they're all singing Heal The World. Alfred Hui is overemoting hilariously again, and it's doubly funny to me because he looks like a guy I know who acts like that. Hafiz is actually kind of entertaining. As soon as the song finishes, some of the audience get up to leave.
My pick: Maria Calista - obviously the best singer, and a song that was neither entirely a piano ballad or a dancefloor filler.
ABU TV Song Festival 2012
